Tuesday, April 5, 2011

lifes positive moments

So I have been feeling better since my last post, thank you for all the encouraging words. I still have my down days, but im working on it. also i had the chance to go home and see my family and my best friend get married so that helped me a whole lot. then there was confrence this last weekend and that was very uplifting, i only got to watch the sunday session since i had to work saturday but it is just what i needed.

so here is what happened when we went up north. My best friend Carolyn got married!!! it was such a great experience, I was a bridesmaid which is something we always talked about as kids, and she was one of my bridesmaids so it was neat. and we also got to go to the temple. it made me so happy to be a part of her wedding, she was such a beautiful bride and ben is such a awesome man, she is going to be so happy with him! it was nice to be in on the sealing and think back on when i married jesse and the feelings i felt when i married him, and how its almost been four year! and i am still as much in love with him as i was when we got married. he has been a big help to me these last few weeks, always telling me he loves me.

So cares wedding was a great uplifting experience for me, and i also got to spend one of the days up north with my mom and sister, my sister asked someone to prefrence and needed a dress so we spent all day dress shopping, which was fun, i could tell my sister really enjoyed it, she looked so pretty in all the dresses and it was so fun seeing her face lite up when she found the dress she wanted. she had such a good time at her dance.

after we got home from up north i had to work, and me thinking i was smart picked up an extra shift, so i worked 4 12hour shifts in a row. the first two days were a breeze, and i thought the next two days would be just as easy, well i was wrong. april 1st was a very bad day! it started out great everythign was good, i had finished my morning med pass early, and i thought sweet its going to be a great day! wrong, one of my residents went out for a smoke break and when she came back she was in respiratory distress, she was having a hard time breathing and some really bad chest pain, so i started her on a breathing treatment, and gave her some nitro for the chest pain, well it never got better only worse, so i jumped into nursing mode. she was a DNR, but requested to go to the ER, but she declined so fast that she never got the chance. she pasted away 3 min after the EMT's arrived, it was a very tough experience, she was having a heart attack and it was very scary for her and me. i know i did everything that i was supposed to, and that it was very quick and she wasn't in a lot of pain. its still sad losing a resident, especially when you get to know them, and get close to them, she will be missed. but after watching confrence and hearing the lords message i know she is in a better place, where she is no longer in pain, and with her husband. so that was a very rough day, and then the next day was just as rough. i was still emotionally exhausted adn things just kept getting in the way, but i made it through.

so now i am just relaxing until i go to work again on thursday.

and my birthday is in 5 days!!! yay i dont have to work and my family is coming down so we can go four wheeling its going to be a good week : )

here are some pics of what we have been doing lately, visiting chelsea and ila, cares wedding and other junk.


Jarom and Marisa said...

I just want to say you rock :)

I lost my first patient about a month and a half ago and it is, it's a hard thing and emotionally draining! She was supposed to be discharged from the hospital that day! Things can change so quickly. No matter how much training you have or however many times you imagine what it will be like,it's not what you thought, and if you were like me you panic a little, (or a lot) inside. It helped me alot to talk about it until I was able to reach the point where you realize you really did do everything you were trained to do or could have done for the person. I'm sure you are an amazing nurse girl.

I don't know how you do it. I can barely work three 12's in a row and because of it I rarely do, but 4. I'm pretty sure I couldn't do it. Sometimes 2 is a struggle and enough to wear me out entirely!

I'm glad to hear you are feeling a little better. We all have our days. I can relate to some of the things you said about girlfriends and things not going so great...I think it's great you've been searching for the "positive moments" life offers us. Hold onto them and keep them close.

And...have a fabulous birthday! I can't wait to hear all about it. :)

Much love!

Ty and Whitty said...

I am so sorry about your patient that is so sad. I couldnt even imagine. I am still so proud of you for going through all that school and being a nurse now you are awesome and I totally look up to you. I am so happy you had a fun few days though and happy birthday early! I hope it is the best day ever! Miss ya girlie

Amy said...

Glad you are back to updating -- and I love all the fun photos!!

Chelsea Pratt said...

Glad things are looking up! Just know I still have your bday gift but I figure when you get it it will be a happy surprise!

P.S.- who is that baby? She is the cutest baby I have ever seen!