Josie Andra Winward part 1

Josie was born July 18th 2012 at 3:24pm, I was induced at 41weeks. here is a quick recap of that day, but i will write the full birth story later. :) we went into the hospital bright and early at 3am. i was given cytotek to help me dialate, after 3min i went from a 2 to a 4. I was given some fentynl for the contractions since i wasn't to the point of getting my epidural. luckily that helped me get some sleep and at 7am i was ready for my epidural. my epidural was all done and kicked in by 8am and at 9am i was dialated to a 10 and fully effaced!  my nurse said that she was going to have this baby here by noon :) haha wishful thinking. so i hurried and called my mom to come on over since she was going to help me in labor. the nurse had me rest and decend for about an hour and a half before calling the doctor over. at noon i started to push, and push and push. it was tough at first figuring out what muscles to use since i was so numb down there. ( i was finally told by the Dr. to stop pushing my epidural pain button) my nurse suggested we use a mirror and at first i was a little creeped out by the idea but in the end in really helped me out, i could focus on what muscles and where to push. I ended up getting a episiotomy because my birth canal was a lot smaller than baby. and finally when she was crowning and ready to come she was having a hard time fitting thru my birth canal and actually got stuck. she had shoulder distocia, where her shoulder got stuck and wouldn't budge so all of a sudden i had two nurses jump on top of me and push josie out! it was crazy and kinda scary. Because of this i got a 4th degree tear (owie!!) and when she came out and the doctor held her up he was in shock at how big he was! we all were. we were not expecting that big of a baby! but he said i did amazing and that he was suprised i didn't ahve to have a c-section or forceps. Josie was the talk of the day at the hospital and dr. office. :) I was so overwhelmed with love and joy after she was born that i couldn't stop crying. she was so beautiful and finally here that i was just so happy. it is crazy how much love i already had for her, and how it keeps growing more and more every day. well after she came out it was pretty crazy around me, i remember holding her on my chest and just crying and starting at her. she was so beautiful and had so much hair! Since i tore so bad my Doctor took his time stitching me up, it took about 45min, but he did a great job and im healing just great. i remember after she was born and they were cleaning her up all i could think about (besides her of course) was food i was so hungry! all i wanted was french fries and a milk shake. and that is exactly what i got!! I will write more later but i just want to express how grateful i am to all the wonderful nurses i had that helped me thru this crazy amazing day! i had the best nurse ever her name was Phyllis and i don't think i would of done so great without her. also my mom and jesse were the best coaches ever! they each helped hold my legs since they were so numb i couldn't move them. Jesse did a great job and i am so proud of him, he is a great daddy.

so excited to meet our little girl :)

mom and baby

so overwhelmed with Joy, I love my baby girl

10lb 11oz, 22in long

daddy and his baby girl

our cute family

Uncle Austin

Aunt Alex

She is so cute! and Loves her headbands ;)

Maternity Pictures

Enjoy!

Letter to my Little Girl

Dear Josie,
this is your mommy, i just wanted to write you a letter telling you some of the experiences i have had with you while you were in the womb. and to let you know how much i love you and how excited i am to be your mom.  Last June is when your dad and I made the decision to start a family, it was something we had been thinking about for a while and earlier that year found out that i have Endometriosis and that i needed surgery, and that this disease can make it hard to get pregnant. in June I had surgery, and found out that it was a lot more severe than we originally thought. I was told that one of my ovaries was most likely blocked, and that could mean it takes longer to get pregnant. Your dad and I were very worried that it would take long to get pregnant, or that i would have problems. well we found out in October that we were pregnant! we were so excited, especially because it happen faster than we thought :) we told our families in November and they were all so excited!! we found out that you were due July 11th 2011, (which is today!) we were so excited, and it felt like July would never come, but can i tell you Josie those 9 months have flown by!
     The first trimester was really rough, i was nauseous everyday all day, i basically lived off of zofran and apple sauce. I was tired all the time, and just wanted to take a nap everyday! I even got to spend Christmas morning in the Emergency Room getting an IV because i was so dehydrated and couldn't stop vomitting. (oh the joys of pregnancy.) your daddy was so worried about us and took great care of us!
     Once I hit my second trimester, things got a lot easier, i wasn't nauseous anymore, still tired but i could handle that. i still wasn't showing very much, but i did have a tiny baby bump. which was so exciting i couldn't wait until i started to show.  we found out that we were having a little girl when i hit 20 weeks :) i was so excited!! you dad had a dream about a week before we found out that you were a girl, and he was right.  some things that i did experience during this trimester, was migraines! they were really bad, i had never had a migraine before and i don't wish to have them again! i was put on some medicine for them and then i went to the chiropractor and that really helped, and after about a month they went away.
     The Third trimester was pretty eventful, I was driving down to work one day and it was really wet, rainy and snowy. I was almost to work when i hydroplaned and got in a pretty bad car accident. the only thing i was thinking about during adn after the accident was you Josie. I didn't care what happened to me, as long as you were safe. i was so nervous, i felt helpless. but everything ended up being ok, you are one tough little girl, you were 100% healthy and had no signs of injury. we were definantly being watched over that day.
     that happened in April, and for about a month and a half, i was really sore, i had bruised my pelvis and chest/ribs really bad. but other than that i felt good, i was finally starting to show, i had a cute baby bump. and i was finally starting to feel you move! it is such a crazy feeling but i love it every time, even when you kick me in the ribs :) let me just say Josie you have been one active little girl, you are constantly moving, turning, kicking, punching, hiccuping. my belly looks like i have an alien in it from all the movements you do. but the funny part is that once someone other than me tries to feel or touch my belly you stop completely. Jesse was so sad at first because he couldn't ever feel you move, but you finally decided to let him in on the kicking. :)
     in May we had some cute maternity pictures taken, i finally had a baby belly by now, to the point where my scrub tops barely fit :) by now we were getting really excited for you to be here. we had my parents come down and help us pain the nursery and get things ready. it was such a nice help.  I feel that i have had a really easy pregnancy with you, besides the car accident. i have enjoyed being pregnant and I can't wait to meet you, i am so excited to be a mom, especially your mom! i can already tell that you are going to be full of spunk, and stubborn. I only say stubborn because when every we have an ultrasound you don't like to show your cute little face! Also recently i have been having lots of contractions, and even early labor, making us think you were going to come early, but you being like your mom, are stubborn and will come when you are ready! which i hope is soon, because Josie i am starting to look like a blimp! my legs are so swollen they look like elephant legs, and they hurt. but that is a small price to pay for my cute little girl.
     So here is a list of things that i have craved while i was pregnant with you Josie
-Applesauce
-pancakes( i ate these straight for like two weeks)
-Wendys (for the 1st trimester)
-Tacobell (your dad craved this more than i did)
- fruit, especially watermelon
-mac and cheese
-vanilla coke
-Ice Cream
-Panda Express
there are probably more, but i can't think of them right now.


Josie I just want you to know that I love you, and I am so excited to be your mom, and to take on this new life adventure with you. i know there will be hard times, but i know the good times will make everything worth it. I love you and i can't wait to meet you and see your beautiful face. 


Love, your mom.  

Josie's Baby Showers!

So on May 12th i had my first baby shower here in Cedar, my friend Mandy threw it for me. we didn't have the best turn out but i still had fun. We played a few game, ate yummy food and then opened gifts.

Then on May 19th i drove up north for my main baby shower, my mom and MIL Julie threw this one for me, they did such a great job everything was perfect, my mom made a ton of cute tissue paper pom poms and we hung them out side with balloons, then she bought a bunch of cute owl decorations that i could use in my nursery after. My Aunt Traci made me a really cute sign for her room that we hung up that says Josie on it. then for food we had mini cupcakes, choc peanutbutter flavor and strawberry lemonaid. then we had a crepe's bar that julie and sarah threw, then some crackers and cheese. 

We sent out about 60 invites, but got 20 RSVPs so we planned on maybe 30 people showing up, we had over 40 people come! i felt very loved! it was so crazy, i really enjoyed seeing everyone, and visiting the best i could, there was so many people it was hard to visit long, because i would see someone else i hadn't seen in forever that i wanted to visit with!  we planned on playing games but there was so many people that we just skipped them and went straight for presents! THANK YOU everyone for all the gifts! Josie got spoilied!!!! i truly loved everything that i got, and i really appreciate everyone who took the time to make her something. i got a ton of adorable blankets and burp cloths. I had so much fun and it was really good to visit with my family and friends. thank you mom and julie , sarah and aunt traci for helping throw a great shower!

I was 33 weeks during this last baby shower, and starting to feel big. haha and that was like two weeks ago!

here are some pictures of my baby showers enjoy!

Tulip Festival 2012

So since i had a week off of work after my accident, we decided to go up and visit Jesse's mom and Sister Sarah. It was a much needed weekend away, and I really enjoyed spending time with my neices and jesse's family. we took it really easy since i was still very sore and was on strict dr. orders to take it easy. so the first night we stayed up late visiting and catching up which was so nice i got plenty of play time in with my cute neices Paisley and Ava. Saturday we all went to the Tulip Festival at Thanksgiving point. It was so beautiful and the most perfect day, we spent a few hours walking around the gardens taking lots of pictures of the tulips and my nieces. then we went back to sarahs and all took a little nap then went to cafe rio for dinner and came back for a night of settlers! which was so fun, i definantly needed some family comfort after what happened.

ok so here are some pictures from the tulip festival. enjoy :)

Car Accident Part 2

wow im a slacker to the max! i guess i should finish my car accident post, and then i can post about everything else that has been going on.

So i left off where I had just been transfered to Labor and Delivery, let me tell you that the nurse i had that day was awful, and i can say that because i am a nurse. but anywho i was transported there and the CNA came in and had me sign my admit papers, after that i didn't see anyone else for 45min, the next person that came in was the doctor. He came in to check on me and tell me what the plans were for day. he asked if the Nurse had come in yet, and i said no, he was really suprised. but he told me they were going to draw some blood, and do an ultrasound and monitor me over night to make sure baby was stable.  so before the RN came in i had the lab come draw blood and the ultra sound tech come in and do my US, then after that the RN finally came in! holy cow i was kinda frustrated by then, and when she came in she didn't even tell me who she was, she wouldn't look me in the eyes and rushed thru everything. ugh. but besides that everything came back looking really good, no problems with baby or me :) jesse stayed with me till about 5pm then he headed home. I had a bunch of people from work come visit me while i was staying there, which was nice to have some company. then i just hung out till the morning, and was discharged the next morning at 10am. My night shift nurse was awesome, and made me feel very welcome and comfortable.

That same day i was in the hospital so was my friend Cami, she was a few doors down from me in L & D she was having contractions and actually had her baby that night, at 33 weeks, way to early, but her and baby are perfectly healthy.  so it was fun texting her all night, and visiting with her.

The next day i headed home, and was told not to go to work for a week, and just take it easy. so thats what i did. it kinda sucked missing work for the pay, but i was so sore, i had some extreme bruising on my chest and pelvis and hurt to move. so the first few days i just layed around. then that weekend we decided since i didn't have to work we would go up and visit Jesse's mom and sister. (i will post about that later)

The main thing that i want to remember about this experience was the feelings of comfort and love that I felt from my heavenly father. the moment my car stopped, the first instinct i had was to say a prayer. it was a very short and quick prayer but it helped me a whole ton. yes i was still in shock and freaking out but once i started to calm down i felt very comforted and knew that ultimatly everything would be ok. After looking at pictures of my car, and hearing from the doctors that it was a miracle that i wasn't injured worse, and that i was able to walk away from my accident, i knew that my heavenly father was watching over me, and that he was with me in the car, and kept me and Josie Safe. it was a huge testimony builder for me. I have so much love for my heavenly father and I truly believe that he knows each and every one of us and what we need, and that he watches over us in times of need. I am very grateful to be a memeber of this church.

I am so grateful that me and Josie are ok, and I can't wait to meet her and hold my little girl :)

Car Accident and Birthday

April 10th was my birthday, and i had a really good birthday :) the week before my mom came down for a quick visit. she took me to get glitter toes and gel nails for my birthday, it was so nice to be pampered. she also bought me some clothes and took us to dinner at wingers yum. it was really nice having her here for a few days, i really love my mom and spending time with her really makes me excited to be a mom myself. Then on my actual birthday Jesse spoiled me, i got two new coats/jackets both way cute, and a skirt. he also got my wedding ring redipped and polished and it looks so good now, i absolutley love it. then we went out to dinner at wingers again, haha we like that place, they have the best dessert ever, called the cookie zookie it is to die for! i am actually craving it now! then we went and saw John Carter. which was a pretty decent movie. it was such a nice day, Thank you jesse for spoiling me rotten. I love you Jesse. 

So later that week after i had worked all my 3 shifts, i decided to pick up an extra shift on saturday to make some overtime. so saturday morning i got up and headed to work as usual. It was a rainy day so i was going slower than normal, and taking my time getting to work. I had made it to Leeds, and right as i was coming around the corner where the L is on the mountaini hit a big puddle and hydroplained, at that point i lost all control of my car and i new i was going to be in a wreck. Everything after that happened so fast, i remember spinning out and my car slamming into a cement barrier that was on the Right side of the road going southbound. I hit that going about 75mph, I must of hit it hard enough to project me back to the road, and then i spun out thru the barrier and stopped in the fast lane going north bound. during this time my airbags went off and slammed me again the seat, i lost my glasses and couldn't see what was going on, and all the smoke in the car from the airbag didn't help either. when i had stopped i was completley freaking out, i was severe shock. i couldn't stop screaming, and crying. i couldn't find my phone and i could see and didn't know what happened to my glasses.

the first real thought i had was to say a prayer, so i said a quick prayer to my heavenly father that me and josie would be ok and make it thru this. after that i opened my door so i could breathe better, the seatbelt and airbag hit me so hard i couldn't breathe then add on my asthma and i was a mess. when i opened my door i realized i was on the road still and freaked out more, i turned on my hazard lights, and tried to move my car but it wouldn't move it was completely dead. i then started screaming and crying more. im not sure how much time had gone by, but by now there were a few cars that had pulled over. A man came over to me and asked if i was ok, i was crying so hard i could barely answer the only thing i kept saying was im pregnant, im pregnant. he then gently put his hand on my shoulder and told me to calm down and take a few deep breaths. So i did, and was able to tell him i couldn't breathe adn that my chest hurt really bad, and that my hips and pelvis hurt too. he asked if i could walk, and i said yes. he then proceeded to help me out of the car and helped me over to his truck.  he called 911 and after let me use his phone to call jesse and work. it was such a long time until the ambulance got there (well it felt long) in that time an off duty cop and firefighter pulled over, and both did an assessment on me and checked me over, then the ambulance came, and when they saw the damage the freaked out and immediatley put me on a spine board and c-collar. they said that my car had hit with such force that i could have some serious injuries. that freaked me out. so in the ambulance they started to do all there assessment, and they had to cut my scrub top off (my favorite one :( ) and my garment top off ( a new one i got for my bday) so they could check out my belly and chest. at this time i started to notice that josie wasn't moving at all, usually she is pretty active, so this worried me alot!

we made it to the ER pretty quick and from there I was taken care of by a awesome staff of RN's and drs and techs. the first persons face i saw was a guy named Russell, I looked up at him and said "Hi, Russell" with a little smile. he had to take a second look at me and then looked at teh doctor and said holy cow she is one of us! Russell is one of the transport guys we work with at the hospital and brings over our new admits all the time. it was nice seeing a familiar face.  so once in the Er, they started an IV, did an xray of my pelvis and chest. then an CT scan of my chest and neck. luckily i had to breaks, and i just severily bruised my chest and ribs. then they checked on baby, and did an quick US, everything looked good on that but to be safe they wanted me to be admitted to Labor and Delivery and be observed on the fetal monitors for 24hrs. and make sure baby stayed ok and that my placent didn't abrupt. by this time jesse was there with me which helped a ton. i was so scared and anxiety ridden. this was the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me, and the whole time i couldn't help but worry about Josie and if she would be ok, i was so scared i would lose her, or go into early labor. Jesse was so strong for the both of us, and really helped to calm my spirit. he is such a great support system. so now we just had to wait to be transported over to L&D, so while we waited jesse called his family to let them know what was happening, i waited to call my parents till later because they were on vacation and had just gotten there so i didn't want to worry them to much. 

Ok I will write about the rest of my hospital stay adn everything else tomorrow, im exhausted and to be honest i still have a hard time thinking about the accident, i haven't been sleeping due to nightmares and flashbacks. so im going to cut this into two post.